Babies, babies everywhere!
That's what I am dealing with lately. Although I try to keep my mind off babies to help me stay focused and not heart broken... it's hard.
At night I have dreams of positive pregnancy tests, giving birth and naming babies. I wake up with a smile on my face and then after realizing it was a dream the feeling of disappointment rushes over my entire body. I get up every morning and try to take on the day as positive as possible. I try to shrug off the sick feeling in my stomach and attempt to be happy and full of energy!
Then I log on to facebook and see a ton of baby showers, baby announcements, birth pictures and teary eyed new parents. Don't get me wrong I am not a sour person... I don't wish any bad on anyone for being pregnant and having babies naturally.. I love seeing pictures of people and their children. I am happy for everyone! I want to hold them, spoil them and celebrate with them! It just makes me sit back, realize what I don't have and what I wish for everyday... it makes me second guess who I am and why I have to be denied the one thing I have always wanted... to be a mother. I want to have a complete family... create one I never had. I love my husband and my step daughter with all my heart but I have a void in my heart that isn't being filled and its hard on me sometimes. Sometimes as hard as I try to stay strong and positive I have a bad day... a weak moment.
I just need to get myself out of this... realize how lucky I am to have what I do... I need to take the progress I have and look forward to next month and what it has in store for me! Audios friends, and thanks for listening!
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