Feelings entry: I am grateful

I just wanted to take the time to say I'm sorry for complaining lately. You have to understand the emotional roller coaster that this journey takes couples on. Especially when they have more than just infertility to worry about.  I had many obstacles to overcome before I could actually start  fertility treatments and when I finally got the chance to start I was only able to complete one full treatment cycle the second one failed. So I've been waiting to start the third cycle and the setback has just been emotionally overwhelming. I also have a lot on my mind which includes insurance and being able to afford IVF. IVF takes a lot of time and everything is calculated a certain way and with it already being February I also have to look at how this is going to affect the way it's billed to my insurance so basically there's just a lot on my mind and when doctors offices don't listen to me and don't take the time to talk to me it just gets very frustrating. Not to mention I don't know how much time I have left to do treatments. It's been a year and I've only had one successful cycle. I'm grateful that I have a group of friends and family members who take the time to try and understand what I'm going through and help to give me the encouragement I need to continue. I'm trying to take a grateful approach to things and this to We Shall Overcome.

Thanks for helping us by donating

I just wanted stop and write a quick blog post for people who have donated and for those who might in the future.
It truly means everything to Kevin and I when someone donates to our cause. Kevin and I dont have a lot of money and we know in these hard times how it can be a stretch to donate so we thank every single person who has donated cash and ordered blankets! The money and the fear is what has kept us from trying to build a family before and we are so grateful for our friends and the new ones we have met along the way.
If we do end up having a child they will know how loved they are and if we don't at least we know we had everyones blessing and we tried with everything we have!
Our goal no matter what is to eventually foster and adopt a child (or more) so we know no matter what we will have the completed family we so desire!
Coming up Feb 18th is our fundraiser by Sarah S and Lularoe! Looking forward to meeting new people!
Please read old posts explaining more of our journey! If you have any questions feel free to message me! If your also suffering from infertility and need a friend I am here for you.
Thank you!

-In Vitro Fertilization is assisted reproductive technology (ART) commonly referred to as IVF. IVF is the process of fertilization by manually combining an egg and sperm in a laboratory dish, and then transferring the embryo to the uterus.
- On average, nationally, a “fresh” IVF cycle costs $12,000, before medications, which typically run another $3,000 to $5,000. 

Update on late period

Went to the doctor today for a ultrasound and found out that I didn't ovulate last cycle. Which would explain why I didn't have a period. I also have a twenty-something MM cyst on one of my ovaries. Since I didn't have a period this month I'm going to have to take an injection in the butt delivered by my lovely husband with a needle as long as my index finger and of course because it's in the muscle it will hurt but we are upping the dose of my medication and going through with my next IUI following my period fingers crossed the third does the trick! I also have a appointment with my oncologist to update her on how things are going. hopefully she thinks my uterus looks ok to continue doing what we're doing it's always up to her.

Not sure whats going on!

So, today is 23 days past IUI and big fat negative pregnancy result at 14 days past trigger (13 past iui). I expected my period to start no later then 10 days after that test. We are there now (or a day or two from it). I still don't have a period! I spotted some black stuff on Monday of this week and thought it was starting but I haven't had anything since!  I called my RE yesterday and he said it was odd and wondering why I haven't started. It could be I didn't ovulate (even with a trigger shot), or my hyperplasia is coming into play. I hope it's that I didn't ovulate because if its my hyperplasia then that makes me worry! Endo hyperplasia is abnormal thickening of my lining (which is where the pre cancer cells were a few months back). I don't see my oncologist until Feb so my RE is having me come in for an ultrasound to see how my uterus looks. I am worried something is wrong... More updates as they come!

2nd IUI failed

Well as expected my second IUI failed. Waiting to hear back from Dr. G on what to do now.

12dpiui

Today is 12 days past my IUI. I go in for a blood test tomorrow but I am sure it's negative because I took a urine test and it was negative. I am not holding my breath that the blood test will come back any different. I have a few things I want to talk to the doctor about.
1. Are my tubes clear?
2. How can we increase the amount of follicles produced?
3. Are you sure I am ovulating?
4. Is there a way to tell there is an egg in the follicle produced?
There are more questions I have that I hope I can write down for when the office calls me tomorrow.

Blankets for baby

Okay that title is kind of corny. But in this very serious situation it lightens things up a bit. I have talked in my previous blog about how I am stressed out on how we're going to be able to find the funding for IVF. This blog is going to kind of give a overview of who I am and why I'm doing this. I am 28 years old and last year was diagnosed with uterine hyperplasia with atypia. That is basically pre cancer cells in my uterus. I see an oncologist every 4-6 months for that and I  also suffer from PCOS and have for several years. I was about fourteen when I was diagnosed with PCOS and in my opinion it's the reason I am where I am today. My husband and I have  been seeing a specialist for fertility so that we can have a child of our own before I have to undergo a hysterectomy. Blankets for baby is a way to keep my mind off of trying to conceive and it's a way for my husband and I to bond as well as take a little bit of money to put towards an IVF cycle. My husband and I have undergone two IUI and medicated Cycles and if this second time doesn't work we're looking at IVF within the next couple of months somehow before then I have to come up with $3,000 to pay the doctor upfront this may be our only chance to have a child and it's unknown as to when I will have to have a hysterectomy so it's ideal that we start saving and putting all our resources toward IVF now. I have always wanted to be a mother and my husband is a great father to his 11 yr old. I have shed many tears when I found out I will have to have a hysterectomy but I refuse to fight cancer if I can avoid it. Therefore when my oncologists say its time to have a hysterectomy then I will but first I have to fight for my last chance at being a biological mom! If you have any questions about this journey or about me please give me a message on Facebook. Thank you to all who have donated so far every dollar helps take a little bit of a burden off of us. All our love Jessica and Kevin