Blankets for baby

Okay that title is kind of corny. But in this very serious situation it lightens things up a bit. I have talked in my previous blog about how I am stressed out on how we're going to be able to find the funding for IVF. This blog is going to kind of give a overview of who I am and why I'm doing this. I am 28 years old and last year was diagnosed with uterine hyperplasia with atypia. That is basically pre cancer cells in my uterus. I see an oncologist every 4-6 months for that and I  also suffer from PCOS and have for several years. I was about fourteen when I was diagnosed with PCOS and in my opinion it's the reason I am where I am today. My husband and I have  been seeing a specialist for fertility so that we can have a child of our own before I have to undergo a hysterectomy. Blankets for baby is a way to keep my mind off of trying to conceive and it's a way for my husband and I to bond as well as take a little bit of money to put towards an IVF cycle. My husband and I have undergone two IUI and medicated Cycles and if this second time doesn't work we're looking at IVF within the next couple of months somehow before then I have to come up with $3,000 to pay the doctor upfront this may be our only chance to have a child and it's unknown as to when I will have to have a hysterectomy so it's ideal that we start saving and putting all our resources toward IVF now. I have always wanted to be a mother and my husband is a great father to his 11 yr old. I have shed many tears when I found out I will have to have a hysterectomy but I refuse to fight cancer if I can avoid it. Therefore when my oncologists say its time to have a hysterectomy then I will but first I have to fight for my last chance at being a biological mom! If you have any questions about this journey or about me please give me a message on Facebook. Thank you to all who have donated so far every dollar helps take a little bit of a burden off of us. All our love Jessica and Kevin

IVF thoughts

I am just thinking...if we end up needing to have IVF what will that cost us? I THINK we have coverage on 3 cycles (in a lifetime) but the average cost is $25,000 each. I am not sure how much we will need up front plus the meds. If we don't succeed with IUI this cycle Kevin and I want to try one more before moving on. But the reality is we do not have extra money in the bank. We literally live paycheck to paycheck and cant afford getting a loan to invest in something we aren't sure will even work! We don't want to ask friends for money because everyone I know live on a budget. IVF is our last chance at conceiving  we deff dont have the money to adopt or pay someone to carry a baby for us. I am trying not to stress but I cant help it. I am actually having a panic attack. Each failed treatment cycle crushes my spirt and the hope in my heart fades. I don't know what to do or where to start. We don't have the time to wait the clock is ticking each month that passes. At each oncologist check up I am grateful I am still cancer free. but we  dont really know that for sure its only an educated guess. The only way they will know before cancer invades my body is to get a hysterctomy and test the layers of my uterus that aren't easy access. Sorry this post is a little all over the place. These are the thoughts that are invading my mind. These are my worries and fears. I am afraid thay we will never have a child together...we will forever be alone. Time for bed and to cry myself to sleep. I can only hope tomorrow is better.

Round 2 IUI

Well, just finished our second IUI and The sperm count was down by about 5 million. This time around his count was only about 3 million. Still a good number though don't get me wrong. While we were there a lady thats 8 months pregnant brought over cookies to the office as a thank you. When the doctor came in he told me he just touched a pregnant belly and reached over to touch mine saying he was passing on the good luck. It was very sweet of him to say that to me. He did say that if this doesn't work we will then talk about our "options" I think he was referring to IVF. We aren't sure we can afford IVF but IVF has much higher success rates. We shall see... Pregnancy test in two weeks! Merry Christmas! 

Round 2 follicle check

Today I have my scan that resulted in one mature follicle at 18 mm. my last cycle only had one follicle at 21 mm. And as we all know that was a fail so I'm not very optimistic about this round. I was really hoping for at least 2 follicles to give me a little bit of a better chance conceiving. with that being said I have an IUI this week and we shall see right after Christmas whether or not it was a success .

Round 2 first ultrasound

Went in today after work and had an ultrasound done. My uterus looks good no abnormalities which is nice to hear. My ovaries are cyst free! Like what? Thats a new one!  I think its because I actually had a full menstrual cycle from beginning to end. I do have small follicles on both sides which is again... Good. And lastly my med (gonal f)  is starting off at 150 units which is higher then last cycle so I am hoping that will result in one or two more follicles. I go back in for another ultrasound next week.

RD 2 Cycle day one

Started my period today. It is 5 days after progesterone.  Here goes 2nd round of meds!

IUI #1 results

Test came back and I am not pregnant. Although it was hard to hear it I am glad I know. I just wish I knew exactly what went wrong. I'm OK but emotionally it's just a lot. Hope next cycle I grow more follicles!